Speaking is easy; listening is difficult.
Experts say that that the average person actually remembers a fraction of what is said to them.
In the course of a lifetime, so much time is spent mastering nuts and bolts career skills, but little time is spent polishing essential interpersonal skills. Listening is one of them.
For decades, recruiters, HR people and organizational heads have complained about job candidates lacking strong communication skills. This is a common complaint from recruiters in all industries. IT candidates, particularly, are singled out for lacking rudimentary communication skills.
“One of the reasons for difficulty listening is because there is too much stimulation around us,” according to Cherie Kerr, president of ExecuProv, a Santa Ana, Calif.-based communication training company.
Technology is the culprit
But the real culprit, Kerr asserts, is technology - PDAs, cell phones,
Blackberries and iPhones. “There is so much going on, it’s difficult to focus on what people are saying to us,” says Kerr.
Gilda Carle, a New York City-based psychotherapist, says that we have trouble listening because we focus on body language 55 per cent of the time, and on vocal intonation 38 per cent of the time. That leaves only seven per cent to devote to what someone is saying. “We’re terrible listeners because we are distracted by 93 per cent of these nonverbal cues as opposed to the seven per cent of what we should be hearing,” says Carle.
How to be a better listener
Think of listening as a skill that must be mastered. Nobody is born knowing how to read and write. These essentials skills are mastered by constant practice. Similarly, listening has to be learned the same way. Kerr says the first step in mastering listening is what she calls, “Being here now.” The means “staying in the moment we are in, concentrating on every
second of a conversation. If we don’t, we might miss a critical cue or idea.”
Why salespeople are good listeners
A sound strategy for improving listening skills is adopting the techniques of veteran salespeople. A good salesperson is always listening and paying close attention to what his or her prospects or customers are saying. One way to remember what people say is to repeat back to them what they are saying, so that the thought is understood and
remembered.
One of the hardest things to do during a first face-to-face conversation with someone is to remember the person’s name. A loud environment such as a busy restaurant or a convention hall may limit what you hear the person saying.
So you don’t forget the name ask if the person has a business card. On the back of the card, write the date of the conversation and notes about the conversation, such as information you have promised to send to the speaker.
Don’t expect to become a good listener overnight. It takes time, patience, concentration and hard work. You can start by slowing down. Just because everything around you is happening quickly doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Apply the brakes, focus and you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what you hear and remember.
At times, everyone has difficulty staying completely focused during a lengthy presentation. We can sometimes have difficulty listening to even relatively brief messages. Some of the factors that interfere with good listening might exist beyond our control, but others are manageable. It’s helpful to be aware of these factors so that they interfere as little as possible with understanding the message.
Noise
Noise is one of the biggest factors to interfere with listening; it can be defined as anything that interferes with your ability to attend to and understand a message. There are many kinds of noise, but we will focus on only the four you are most likely to encounter in public speaking situations: physical noise, psychological noise, physiological noise, and semantic noise.
Physical Noise
Physical noise consists of various sounds in an environment that interfere with a source’s ability to hear. Construction noises right outside a window, planes flying directly overhead, or loud music in the next room can make it difficult to hear the message being presented by a speaker even if a microphone is being used. It is sometimes possible to manage the context to reduce the noise. Closing a window might be helpful. Asking the people in the next room to turn their music down might be possible. Changing to a new location is more difficult, as it involves finding a new location and having everyone get there.
Psychological Noise
Psychological noise consists of distractions to a speaker’s message caused by a receiver’s internal thoughts. For example, if you are preoccupied with personal problems, it is difficult to give your full attention to understanding the meanings of a message. The presence of another person to whom you feel attracted, or perhaps a person you dislike intensely, can also be psycho-social noise that draws your attention away from the message.
Physiological Noise
Physiological noise consists of distractions to a speaker’s message caused by a listener’s own body. Maybe you’re listening to a speech in class around noon and you haven’t eaten anything. Your stomach may be growling and your desk is starting to look tasty. Maybe the room is cold and you’re thinking more about how to keep warm than about what the speaker is saying. In either case, your body can distract you from attending to the information being presented.
Semantic Noise
Semantic noise occurs when a receiver experiences confusion over the meaning of a source’s word choice. While you are attempting to understand a particular word or phrase, the speaker continues to present the message. While you are struggling with a word interpretation, you are distracted from listening to the rest of the message. An example of semantic noise is a euphemism. Euphemism is diplomatic language used for delivering unpleasant information. For instance, if someone is said to be “flexible with the truth,” it might take us a moment to understand that the speaker means this person sometimes lies.
Du bör lära dig att acceptera och känna dig bekväm med ditt fysiska utseende. Det har föreslagits av professionella – nejtilled.se/kopa-cialis-online/ – att alla övningar som stärker bukväggarna och bäckenmusklerna kommer att ha en god effekt på individens erektionsliv.
Many distractions are the fault of neither the listener nor the speaker. However, when you are the speaker, being aware of these sources of noise can help you reduce some of the noise that interferes with your audience’s ability to understand you.