Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?

January 21, 2021

While there’s no such thing as a perfect family – except in some TV shows – some families are actively harmful, toxic or abusive. As defined by the American Psychological Association, a family is dysfunctional if “relationships or communication are impaired and members are unable to attain closeness and self-expression.” Here are some characteristics to look for if you suspect your family is dysfunctional.

1. Lack of Communication

Communication is a fundamental building block of healthy relationships. However, dysfunctional family members often have poor listening skills, which leads to misunderstandings and arguments. Dysfunctional families tend to communicate indirectly. Family members complain about each other, but don’t talk to the person they have a conflict with. That passive-aggressiveness fosters tension and mistrust.  

2. Little to No Empathy

Another hallmark of a dysfunctional family is a lack of empathy. Instead of showing their children unconditional love and support, parents who don’t practice empathy are judgmental. They have high expectations and do not accept what they view as failures. These parents struggle to understand their children’s point of view, and may use demeaning language to talk to them, which causes children to have poor self-esteem.

3. Unpredictability

If a family member is irresponsible, erratic or undependable, it creates an environment where nobody else is sure what version of that person they’ll be interacting with from one day to the next. Growing up in an unstable household can cause children to mirror their parents’ toxicity as adults. Alternatively, they could go the opposite direction and become ultra-responsible people pleasers who always toe the line.

4. Excessive Criticism

Any form of verbal abuse, such as criticism, is a challenge for children to overcome. Parents in dysfunctional families often denigrate a child’s looks, intelligence, value or abilities. Some criticism might be direct, while other forms are subtler and relayed as teasing or insults. Regardless of delivery, consistent criticism from parents adversely affects a child’s self-image and development.

5. Substance Abuse

When one or more family members have problems with drugs and alcohol, the resulting stress often leads to dysfunctional relationships and unhealthy coping mechanisms such as denial, deflection and emotional withdrawal. It also shifts the roles family members play within the household, causing behaviors like enabling. As an addiction progresses, the substance abuser’s self-destructive actions become the focal point of household conflicts. Even worse, children who grow up in a household that has normalized substance abuse often go on to perpetuate the cycle of addiction.

Family Therapy in Addiction Treatment

If you have recognized dysfunction in your family, it’s essential to have a plan for how you will deal with it moving forward. Family counseling is one way you can gain a more profound understanding of your family’s unique relationships and hone your communications skills. At Beach House, we have developed our family programming because we know how crucial family support can be in helping someone overcome an addiction.

We offer our Family Program for drug and alcohol addiction at no cost to anyone whose loved one is a current or former resident of our facility in Juno Beach, Florida. The course consists of two parts:

  • A two-day intensive workshop to educate family members about the disease of addiction and what to expect on their loved one’s recovery journey as they adjust to life after rehab
  • A wellness program for people who feel they need more personalized support, including access to compassionate wellness coordinators who are available to take your calls 24/7

We’re Always Here for You

If you have a loved one who struggles with a substance abuse disorder, it’s crucial to act quickly and convince them to enter an accredited treatment facility. At Beach House, we understand how heartbreaking it can be to witness a family member living with an addiction. That’s why we are always here to support you and the people you care about most, beginning with a complimentary intervention consultation. Our dedicated counselors are available around the clock to answer any questions you might have regarding how to help your loved one choose to seek help and embrace a sober future.

Families are generally known to be the people you can lean on during tough times and have open disagreements without feeling attacked or judged. At the end of the day, they are the ones you can rely on and you know that you will always love each other through thick and thin. But, what about those of us who come from dysfunctional families? And are the signs always clear and obvious, or can they be subtle and deceiving? Psych2Go shares with you 8 common characteristics of a dysfunctional family:

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?
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1. Addiction

According to American Addiction Centers, roughly 45% of the U.S. population has been exposed to some form of alcoholism or alcoholic behavior within their family. That translates to as many as 76 million people and approximately 26 million of those individuals are children. The addiction can be drugs, alcohol, or a combination of both. Parents with an addiction can have a negative impact on the family, whether that pertains to financial problems, communication difficulties, or a poor establishment of trust and bonding that affects every family member’s ability to form close, healthy relationships with others.

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?
Source: unsplash.com

2. Perfectionism

This one can be difficult to spot, especially if a family looks picture perfect on the outside. But behind closed doors, it’s a different story. When perfectionism is highly regarded and parents place unrealistic expectations on their kids to succeed, the children may grow up with self-image and self-esteem issues, believing that they will never be good enough. The kids may have a hard time going to their parents when they are in need of emotional support. As a result, they may learn to close themselves up and have difficulty trusting people. When parents prioritize their kids’ performances, they leave little to no room where mistakes are allowed and nurtured.

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?
Source: unsplash.com

3. Abuse

Abuse is another common characteristic of a dysfunctional family. It can be physical, emotional, and/or sexual. Abuse can occur between two spouses, from a parent to a child, or between two sibling children. Abuse is a method families use to punish their members for unwanted behavior. It’s also a way for members to be in control when they feel as though they’ve been betrayed or wronged.

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?
Source: unsplash.com

4. Unpredictability and Fear

Unpredictability and fear often go hand in hand. They are a pattern often produced from abuse as mentioned in the previous point, but can also exist from a parent’s or spouse’s financial handling or emotional and reactive behavior. Typically, children who come from an unstable household, whether it be financially or emotionally, may suffer from low self-esteem issues and can either grow up to be super responsible people pleasers or the exact opposite and mirror their parents’ toxic behaviors. Fear and unpredictability are characteristics influenced from strict and overly religious upbringings or when a family does not allow diversity for members to form their own beliefs, aspirations, and interests.

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?
Source: unsplash.com

5. Conditional Love

Unconditional love is something that healthy families demonstrate. But in dysfunctional families, conditional love is often exercised from members’ manipulative tendencies. When a parent or spouse gives a family member love only when they want something, it can either come from a place of insecurity or selfishness. For instance, a mother may only show love and support to her child, hoping that when the child reaches adulthood, they will take care of her. But when that child grows into what she considers a moody or inconsiderate teenager, she may not readily show the same love and support she originally did. When conditional love is exercised, it can make family members feel used or cheated.

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?
Source: unsplash.com

6. Lack of Boundaries

When a family doesn’t establish healthy boundaries, members will often feel as though they have no privacy or that they aren’t being respected. Parents who see their children as trophies or an extension of themselves can teeter on narcissistic behavior, which can often cause children to feel confused about their own identities that aren’t nurtured properly or encouraged. A lack of boundaries often occurs when one parent tries to be controlling and dominant through anger. When children feel as though they have no choice but to act or behave in certain ways they do not upset their parent, they usually grow up feeling alienated and lost, and may be overly self-critical.

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?
Source: unsplash.com

7. Lack of Intimacy

Dysfunctional families can often mistake codependency as intimacy. In healthy families, parents teach their children how to be self-sufficient. But if a parent fears letting go of their kids, they may express not being able to live without them if they grow up and leave. The same applies for a spouse who may show excessive clinginess to their partner. It’s important for family members to provide the choice of being with one another because they want to, not because they have to. Ultimately, love is a selfless act and should never be pressured nor forced.

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?
Source: unsplash.com

8. Poor Communication

A lot of conflict in families typically stem from poor communication. When members can’t fully express themselves due to strained or nonexistent communication, they may end up feeling unheard, invisible, or misunderstood. Overall, dysfunctional families don’t practice healthy communication skills enough. As a result, members can be quick to react, rather than wanting to listen in order to understand. Consequently, many arguments arise which create daily stress and challenges that tear the family apart, instead of bringing it closer.

Does your family identify with any of these characteristics? Psych2Go would love to hear your thoughts! Please be sure to leave a comment down below!

Want to say hello or send a personal message? You can reach the author at . ♥

If you enjoyed this article, then you may also like 10 Ways to Deal with Toxic Parents or 7 Ways Alcoholic Parents Affect their Children from Psych2Go.

References:

The Eight Most Common Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family. (2017). Full Gospel Businessmen’s Training. Retrieved February 14, 2018.

Goddard, M. (2018). The Six Traits of a Dysfunctional Family. Health Guidance. Retrieved February 14, 2018.

Please be sure to also check out our new e-book: An Introvert’s Survival Guide! It’s FREE for the first week!

Which of the following is not a characteristic of an unhealthy family relationship?

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